In Australia, the month of May is kinda the month of Mums, with Mothers' Day being the 2nd Sunday of May each year. This should be a good time of year, after all, these women brought us into the world and raised us to be who we are today. That's a pretty good thing to celebrate and make a big deal about, right? All those things they taught us and have helped us become these wonderful specimens we are. Look at us! Yeah? No?
Weeeeeeell yes ...and no.
Some people out there, including yours truly, may not have had the best childhood being raised by the woman who brought us into the world. Some would say that they weren't taught anything worth knowing. Actually, I beg to differ.
Even if they were the worst mother on the planet and don't even deserve the title of 'mother', they still did teach us the things that have got us where we are today. Yes, even I can say this (who has not had contact with the woman who gave birth to him in at least 20 years).
To teach something to someone, you do NOT have to directly teach them a good thing or a lesson to help them through life. Sometimes going through hell and back can also teach us things. You know that. There are lessons in EVERYTHING that happens in our lives.
Ever had a car crash or a similar horrible accident in your life? What did you learn from it? To not drive too fast? To pay more attention to the road? To stay off your phone while you drive? Well, maybe that's the way your mum taught you lessons. Maybe she showed you how NOT to act or treat loved ones. Maybe how to be more present by making you feel ignored. Maybe she just showed you who you don't want to be.
As a coach, I also work with people when they want help with goal setting and achieving a dream. There are 2 ways or doing this:
I can get them to visualize their desired goal, get them to reeeeeeally visualize it. They see it, feel it, smell it and breathe it in so they can literally taste that goal and it's so clear in their mind it's the driving force to go chase it.
On the other hand, if they struggle to see it and they need a little more persuading, I get them to think of the opposite. Yep, The opposite of the goal. "What will it feel like if I DON'T achieve it?"
Why would I do such a thing? Well, if you can't see where you're headed, maybe you need to see what is behind you and how bad it is and if you don't do something about it, imagine being stuck there.
Now, if you were to do this and you could clearly see where you could end if up if you don't do anything, wouldn't you want to RUNNNNN from that as quick as possible? You'll know where you've come from and that you never want to be there ever again, right? It also helps bring what you DO want into much clearer focus.
Your Mum may have deliberately taught you lots of wonderful things but the indirect, accidental lessons you may have learned from her could be really good ones too! They might be examples of where you've come from and how far you've come and that you never want to be like that or in that position in YOUR life. You can't say that's not valuable.
Don't get me wrong here, being a mum is one of the toughest jobs in the world.
Think of a job where you are on call 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365-366 days a year for at least 18 years!!! And the pay is CRAP, dealing with crying, crapping, cursing, canoodling, wiping away tears, listening to yelling and screaming, upgrading outgrown clothes, toys, school books and all the other stuff that goes with raising her little angels (and terrors at times) and usually putting her kids first before herself.
So it's not easy, I get that. I for one, can honestly say I'm glad I'm a guy because I could NOT stretch myself like most Mums. It's a freakin tough gig and I think some of you are insane to not only do it once, but then to go back and do it a few times over! All the heartache and sweat and tears.
But in the end, if it wasn't for the Mums of the world, NONE of us would be here today no matter how good or downright crap they were at being a mother. Some of us like me, were VERY lucky to be adopted or taken in by someone else's Mum. To this day, I can REALLY call her Mum and feel the love and care in my heart when Im with her and would be devastated to not have her.
So when Mum's Day comes around wherever you are, whatever the lessons you got from your Mum, consider celebrating it. Call them or write them and tell them how much you appreciated what they did for you and that you definitely would NOT be here if not for them. Thank them for being YOUR mum when others may not have theirs.
I really feel for you if your Mum has passed on. If you loved them, you'll even love them more for all they have given you. That's hard. On Mothers' Day night, I want you to go outside, look up into the sky and look for the biggest, brightest star, and yell out as loud as you can that you miss them and love them and are grateful for all that they gave you to help you become who you are today.
To each and everyone of the Mums who read this, whenever your day arrives.... HAPPY FREAKIN' MUM'S DAY, GIRL.
And to MY mum who I have had most of my life, thank you for taking me in when my own mum gave me up. You are The BEST mum in the world, with all the other BEST MUM'S in the world.
Thanks for putting up with me. Love ya x
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Most of these posts are written by Jayson Mair himself and based around relationships. If there is something you would like to know,feel free to email us here and we will do our best to get a post up about that subject.